Friday, February 27th, 2009
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5:49 pm - theatre, vomit and "the bath of shame"
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so, a fairly decent weekend all in.
i have been off on holiday from thursday through to tomorrow, and yesterday i started to feel the stress wash off me. today i feel nauseous, which means i expect, stress backlash. i seriously need to find a better way of working.
friday night, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) popsimon came over for a general monging, and by our standards we took it fairly easy.
we went to see dylan moran, who was hilarious. nearly as funny as the woman in the for in front of us who was pissed before she came in and then ate her lunch backwards over about five seats during the interval. we arrived back from interval drinks to smell the vomit and see her trying to clear it up in a drunken way. her husband/partner then arrived and tried to clean some of it out of her hair before leading her away. the fact that he was being considerate and not angry (whilst he looked sober) meant he was probably going to try and shag her later, piquant odour, crusty hair and all.
then back to harrogate for curry and drinks.
sunday involved taking the bath of shame to the tip. i say bath of shame, more for it's contents than the fact that the bath had done anything shameful. the bath itself just needed tipping.
due to h and i missing the recycling pickup for a number of weeks, we had a lot of bottles that needed disposing of. so, popsimon and i filled the bath with all the bottles and took it to the tip.
( uD, popsimon and the bath of shame )
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, November 26th, 2008
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11:26 pm - a new drink
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due to some residue in a glass from a minute ago, I accidentally invented a new drink, which I shall name a gaki and tonic, or maybe rin and T
The best thing about the drink is how it satisfies all the food groups. "How?" I hear you ask...
Well, if you end up with a mixture of raki, gin and tonic in a glass, you get aniseed, alcohol, juniper berries, quinine and water.
Who could ask for more? The obligatory ice means one can chew it as well.
For baldowl, I'm not drunk.
This weekend we have friends over, when i expect to fully tie one off though.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Saturday, November 1st, 2008
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9:10 pm
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I have a drunken tongue. Don't ask. For baldowl it is important to note the rest of me hasn't caught up.
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(comment on this)
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Monday, October 27th, 2008
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8:36 pm - funeraling - my new idea for a hobby
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apparently every year, thousands of people die and are buried by their local councils and there is no one there to witness the funeral.
i propose funeraling as the answer. one could either go individually or as a group as a solemn witness to a life passing, or go along for a laugh dressed as zombie-clowns to take part in the funeral.
this opens up endless possibilities for inventing eulogies when the only people at the service would be a priest and a professional mourner. and 20 zombie-clowns getting pissed.
what else?
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, October 24th, 2008
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8:49 pm - To quote #1
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7:24 pm - thoughts on standards in public life
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i've been thinking about standards, and specifically, is there an act of depravity after which one just shrugs ones shoulders and after which any other act has no impact?
would you like to know how i wondered about this? i thought you would. lets just say the order was:
shagging sarah palin begets shagging on the still-warm carcass of a recently killed moose begets moose entrail bondage.
at what point would the mental shrug appear? can you think where to take this next? i suppose there's nasal flossing with ligaments, but that could lead to a involuntary septumectomy.
i miss podcastng with popsimon - that's probably the more appropriate forum to explore this.
I am not drunk. yet. I intend to be though. and them tomorrow i need to get an eye-test to see if i need glasses.
current music: Scattered Black And Whites - Elbow
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(14 comments | comment on this)
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10:49 am - politically, you know when you've arrived when...
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hustler makes a video of you. I present (safe for work) "nailin - palin".
popsimon gets the credit.
now, i want to see one where jaquie smith does gordon brown up the gumpy with a barbed-wire loofer.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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10:24 am - start your day the purile way
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so, #1 comes into the room wearing his dressing gown - flashes himself around the place doing a vigorous and obscene dance and gleefully announces "i bet the you've been framed people would have to put an exclamation mark over my widge if they had a film of that!" and runs off.
the day has more or less run on those grounds since 9am.
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, October 21st, 2008
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10:20 pm - the mighty boosh
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Friday, October 17th, 2008
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1:51 pm - elbiesee may be interested in this
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Thursday, October 16th, 2008
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11:56 pm - ym with popsimon
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11:48 pm - public information announcement
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to quote granny weatherwax: "i am not ded"
and to quote myself, i gift you the phrase "spunk-addled"
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(14 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, October 10th, 2008
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7:36 pm - in conversation with #2
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#2: would you like an eye on the back on your head so you can see all around?
uD: That would be cool - chameleons can see all around them because their eyes are kind of on stalks and they can turn them around [uses hands to mime chameleon eye movements]
#2: cooooool. Can they play pat-a-cake with their eyes? Could their eyes kiss and get married?
it was by this point that all collapsed into giggles.
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, October 5th, 2008
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8:06 pm - a new thrill
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Saturday, October 4th, 2008
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8:43 pm - the loft
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we are getting the loft insulated properly as well as having some draft proofing done. this means getting everything down and out of the loft. for two people who've been living togeatehr 14 years means you accumulate a lot of kipple.
this means the kipple needs to come out of the loft, get sorted and tipped.
so far, we've had 5 solid hours of unloading and have managed to fill the car for the second time for a tip run, have a third run prepared and still have loads to go.
then some of it needs to go back, and i need to decide what to do with some others, like a royal albert teaset i have. not cheap, and saved up for and given to my by my gran, but it's not exactly my taste. somehow i don't see a greek party on the horizon.
suggestions?
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, October 3rd, 2008
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11:39 pm
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stealthfish and I are on a train coming back from the mighty boosh. Our conversation went something like:
Ud: I have no idea what you're looking at but I bet I am browsing at something way better.
Queue a little guessing before I owned up to watching a horse autopsy.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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2:12 pm - quick - see it while you can
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Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
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12:02 pm - a new smart idea for our backup solution
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this occurred to me last night and i put it out to the lazy webs for review.
Just to recap, we are offering 5G of storage to students for £2.50 a month. This is a good deal and relies slightly on over-booking to make a profit - that is if every sod managed to use up all 5G then we wouldn't make a penny.
Our software detects if people are sharing their accounts about and we can lock accounts out if this happens.
One of the things that did dawn on me though is to allow students to create - party accounts, or if you like, "friends and family" accounts where they can share their allocation but not their account with others [1] for a nominal fee of (say) £0.49 a month. Needless to say, this means there's a greater chance of more space being consumed, but the nominal fee would cover that.
This plays well into the current approach to student accommodation, which is that a lot of universities now like putting their students in flats of 4 or 5 rather than halls.
Does anyone have any ideas along similar lines?
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Sunday, September 28th, 2008
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3:35 pm - my smart dream
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so last night i was dreaming that i was grating turnip [1] into a teacup because this was turning h on but i was getting bored and offered to grate it into the bath instead because this was easier but she said that didn't make any sense and anyway she had a lot of chains lying around that i would like as long as i finished grating the turnip but then i woke up.
[1] - it was a cooked turnip, just in case any of you think i am some raw-turnip-grating pervert.
it was a short dream, but definitely scores 3 cheeses out of 5.
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3:35 pm - quotable h
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one of the fun thing about observing one's spouse is identifying the stages of drunkenness they go through. h found another one last night: quotable. she goes from happy->clever->quotable->mullered.
so last night's quotes were:
on the subject of helping me edit my thesis: well, if it's not going to interesting, it may have well been short
on the subject of having cats and hamsters in the same house: the cat thinks: ooo thanks - you've brought me lunch in a puzzle box
on the subject of one of her charges she mentors. this was more about the kid, who'd announced he'd had a day off because he'd gone to the local village farming show and he'd won a prize for "pet on a lead". the conversation kind of went: was it your dog? [called 'wellie' incidentally] . the child looks at her and says (as if she's a arse) and says as condescendingly as possible "No - it was my chicken". he'd taken a chicken on a lead to a pet show. apparently the chicken doesn't trust him any more.
current music: World Looking In - Morcheba
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